No guarantees ... just better odds

It was just under 16 years ago I watched my parents bury my sister Maggie.  46 years old, four children, thankfully most of them grown, but a super sad thing to watch.  Maggie was a victim of the opioid epidemic.  In my very jaded opinion she was over prescribed pain killers for a very uncomfortable back pain.  This combined with an alcohol addiction proved to be lethal for her.  Maggie and I were 10 years apart... she was a young mother so we didn't really "grow up" together... she was off on her own at 18 years old... making me 8.  I didn't know her as well as I do some of my other siblings.  Still at 36 years old it was a slap in the face about the realities of life.  

I remember watching my mother, 73 years old at the time, struggle to get in and out of the funeral home and church because of her own ailing body.  She and my father lived in Florida full time by then and I only saw them about two times a year when I would spend Christmas week and a week in the summer hanging out with them.  I would tear up each trip as I would leave because... you just never know if you'll see them again alive.   My Dad was in pretty darn good health at that time, but my mother was very uncomfortable and struggled with daily tasks. It is very hard to witness... as I'm sure some of you already know.  

Just 11-months after my sister Maggie passed, we got the call that Mom was taken to the hospital and we should come say good-bye.   And sure enough we all made it and loved on her before the wishes of her DNR were effective.  When her doctor came in to see her, she told her "Eileen, you can fight still. We can get you home with some hospice care and you can live longer."  I distinctly remember my mother smiling at her.  Three of us hung out while the others headed to dinner and back to the house.  My mother was never lucid again.  All of us, accept my sister Karen were at the house the next morning, April 16, 2011 at 6:00am when she called to tell us it was happening.  We rushed over to the hospital and by the time we got there she was gone.  Seventy-four years old.  

I am sharing this long story because it changed my life... obviously.  Losing a parent, sibling, friend, spouse too soon or unexpectedly will do that to you.  At the time, I was 37 years old and 74 years old seemed like a pretty decent life.  As I've gotten older I've changed my mind dramatically about this last statement.  Particularly because she was so uncomfortable for the last 8 or so years. She raised 8 children and was a very active member in our church and community.  I can't recall her EVER making time to take care of HERSELF.  She was always doing something for someone else and an early departure from life was the consequence of this.  To be fair, exercise and the culture of wellness was not really a thing when she was raising us.  She loved that I played sports and was so active, she encouraged it every step of the way.  But for the expectations of the time... it was diet pills, get as skinny as possible, and MAYBE some Jane Fonda aerobics, but not for her.   She was a supple Momma tending to everyone but herself.

If you don't have a story like this already in your life, give it time, you will... unfortunately.  Someone will leave this life too soon before you make it to the end of your time.  My story is a driving force behind why I do what I do for a living.  We don't have to decline as we age.  We don't have to be restricted in our activities in our golden years... shit, those SHOULD be the best years of our lives.  There WILL be lows we need to plod our way through, where motivation is scarce, stuff is coming at ya left and right, and you just don't want to take the time to care for yourself.  I implore you to lean on your discipline in these times.  The MENTAL and physical benefits of getting to the gym regularly is an irreplaceable investment in YOU and your long term QUALITY of life.  AND it is not selfish.  In fact, being more capable for a longer period of time will only enhance and improve the lives of your loved ones who will eventually care for you.  It is the opposite of selfish.  

There are no guarantees and no one is expecting anyone to live a perfectly clean life.  However, we are playing an odds game in this journey of life.  We are trying to stack the odds FOR us and minimize the odds AGAINST us.  That is what this is all about.  AND STILL, shit can happen but knowing you did your part, the best you could, to give yourself the best chance to live a long, comfortable, productive, happy life will feel a hell of a lot better than regret.  

I can't believe it's been 15 years since my mother's passing.  She was a force in my life.  And yet probably the best lesson she ever taught me was in her passing.  She showed me what I DON'T want my future to look like, not on purpose, but still a powerful lesson.  I am working everyday to be so freakin' capable and independent into my senior years.  And I am hoping I can convince you to shoot to do the same in your own life.  Some of you are probably too young to be thinking about this yet... as I thought I was at 37 years old... but the earlier you start the better your chances of stretching your longevity line.  Make this a non-negotiable in your life, make it part of who you are.  And while you are seriously benefiting your own health, you will also be inspiring someone to do the same for their life.  

I am proud of you.  Keep grinding.